|Posted on March 30, 2015 at 1:35 PM|
More Love Monday Mantra!
"My True Love Is not perfect, but perfect for Me".
Last week I had to have a tough conversation with a client. I had to tell him that I sent him someone perfect for him, but he missed it because he thought she wasn't "perfect". I felt so sad for him. I explained to him that the "flaw" he saw was so small that even I hadn't noticed it. And so insignficant to her beauty and intelligent nature. After we talked he felt regretfull and called to ask her out again. But she said no because she had felt his judgemental nature. So sad.
We've all heard the admonition- don't expect perfect. And I agree! And I disagree! What?? Can I do that? Yes, it's my blog ;0
So here's why~ When we are out there looking for perfection; what are we really doing? What is it that we really want? Do we know? Or are we just making sure we don't get hurt and ALL our wants and desires are satisfied?
Are you a perfectionist in the other areas of your life? Does this crossover into your relationships? Your search for love?
Here's an exercise--If you made a list of the perfect partner, where do you fall in matching that list? Are you generous, fit and funny (fill in the blanks)? Or are you uncociously looking for someone to complete you, to bring the qualities you currently lack but want/admire in your life?
Or do you exhaust yourself, trying to be perfect; to hide your percieved flaws and therefore find it difficult to tolerate imperfection in others?
It may be time to ask- What's love got to do with it? Perfectionism has nothing to do with Love.
The best thing you can do in the process of waiting for and finding The One is to figure out what you need, not what you expect. And then be the kind of person worthy of that. Be the best version of who you want, that you can be. That's not perfection, that's real. And worth it.
Looking for the right one can be tricky business. There is nothing in this life that can touch us any deeper than love. For better or for worse. Finding and keeping Love isn't out there; it's starts within you.
If you are stuck in a pattern of perfectionism you are setting up your love life and your heart, for failure. Ugh! We do not want those words in the same sentence! So, I encourage you to ask yourself- Do you want perfect or perfect for you? Trust me, they are not the same. Perfect for you makes you much happier!
Make the list, and then get to work on you.
Wishing you More Love,